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Catholic Cemeteries: Taking a Moment to Reassess Balance in Your Life


By Candee Lucas, Catholic Cemeteries-DSJ

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”  Colossians 3:12

As Christians, we are called to work with and assist others in many aspects of their lives, as well as our own.  It is incumbent on us all to be our best selves so we can give the best of that self to the works we are called to do.  In the midst of everyday life, it is often difficult to find time to do this.  You might schedule a time: perhaps early morning and do a check-in to see where you are and assess if you need some extra attention before you give that to others. Practice self-compassion and be realistic about what you can and cannot achieve within the time frame you have. Be tender with yourself.

Start by listening to messages you give your body. Take a moment to pay attention now. Where are stressors? Tightness? Pain?  Stiffness? Joint aches? Discomfort? Pain in the neck? Our physical selves can often give us great insights into our interior distress.  What might the message be?

We should strive to make balance an integral part of our personal and professional lives. Imbalance is an inevitable part of life, but like any experience, imbalance can be a means to help one grow spiritually.  In this context, God can be seen as partner.  We can begin to address imbalances by doing some self-reflection.

Ask the Right Questions

  • What gives your life meaning?
  • Where do you find joy; fulfillment?
  • Where do you turn in times of stress or disappointment?
  • What gives you a sense of peace and serenity?
  • What helps you cope with boredom and daily living?
  • What do you do in your leisure time?

Live a Hopeful Life

  • Meditation/Yoga
  • Daily Journaling/Gratitude Journal
  • Reconnect with Nature
  • Physical Activity
  • Music
  • Conversations with God

Create the Grace of Empathy

  • Allow God’s grace to give you self-compassion  
  • Share your experiences with a trusted listener.
  • Trust that God has given you or will provide you with the tools you need.

Address Your Spiritual Needs

  • Remember you are loved by God, valued as a person with past, present and future
  • Believe you are exactly what God had in mind when God made you.
  • Attend Spiritual Retreat
  • Address inner questions; who am I? What have I become? Who do I want to be?

Try these 12 paths of PERSONAL BALANCE

  • Explore hobbies (gardening, reading, crafts, carpentry, travel)
  • Plan Exercise/Healthy meals/Sleep
  • Use Time Management
  • Forgive yourself and others
  • Foster healthy relationships
  • Practice letting go of worry
  • Be mindful
  • Breathe
  • Learn to say “NO”
  • Follow your heart
  • Express gratitude
  • Practice Prayer

Remember what Mother Teresa told us: “Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.” When we create balance our own lives we can better attend to who are in need.

Catholic Cemeteries is here to walk with you before, during and after the death of a loved one.  Whether you are caring for a loved one, experiencing a life changing event or just need resources, we are here for you. Contact us at (650) 549-6056 or cemeteryinfo@dsj.org.

Planning a Catholic Funeral

April 3, 10 a.m. – 12 p.m.
Saint Anthony Parish 20101 McKean Rd. San Jose
Presenters: Father Christopher Bennett, Lima-Campagna-Alameda Mission Chapel and Catholic Cemeteries
The Vigil, Funeral Mass and Committal (graveside services) each have distinct purposes in the journey toward healing and wholeness. Come learn about the Church’s Catholic rituals and prayers and the services and options offered through a funeral home and Catholic Cemeteries. Give yourself and your loved ones the gift of peace of mind by having your end-of-life plans in place.

Death Café

March 20,  7 p.m. – 9 p.m. (3rd Wed. each month),
890 Benton Street, Santa Clara (corner of Lafayette)
Facilitator: Candee Lucas, M.A. Pastoral Ministries
Want a safe place to talk about death and dying and what it means? How do we participate or incorporate dying into our lives as we come upon that experience? Space provided by Santa Clara University Graduate Program in Pastoral Ministries. For more information: deathcafe.com/deathcafe  Endorsed by Catholic Cemeteries

SOLACE – Soul + Grief

Monthly Drop-In Grief Support Group Grounded in spirituality and faith

March 27, 7 – 9 p.m.
O’Connor Hospital Chapel, Main Entrance, 2105 Forest Ave., San Jose. Parking in the back lot
Facilitator: Candee Lucas, M.A. Pastoral Ministries. We hope to create a sacred space for you to share your grieving. No RSVP necessary. Free. Sponsored by Catholic Cemeteries and O’Connor Hospital.

New Paths for Healing – Travelling through Lent with personal grief

April 6, 9:30 a.m. – 3 p.m.
Saint Mary’s Parish – Hofmann Center 219 Bean Ave. Los Gatos
Join us for a day of reflection encountering the presence of God in your daily life in the midst of grieving. The day will include prayer, reflection, opportunities to share and hands-on activities to explore the ways in which grief and God color our lives. $15. RSVP required by April 2, (408) 342-1517 or ccoutreach@dsj.org.

For more information or to schedule a free workshop in your parish, contact Catholic Cemeteries (650) 428-3730 or cemeteryinfo@dsj.org.